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 Post subject: Critique welcomed
PostPosted: Mon Sep 29, 2014 8:28 am  (#1) 
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Here's a piece I did recently. I'm thinking it looks a bit empty in the leaf area -- but sometimes I overdo detail. I'd love to hear your impressions. (This is my first submission - please let me know if I should have uploaded it a different way.)

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 Post subject: Re: Critique welcomed
PostPosted: Mon Sep 29, 2014 8:36 am  (#2) 
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Well it's seems to be all about leaves (by the quote), and you have some semi transparent ones so the background colour could be more, just blurred.
I think it is nice. :)

If you want really tough critique though, I'm sorry I'm not the one to get it from.
Maybe you could mention what you were going for and someone can tell you how you may achieve that.

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 Post subject: Re: Critique welcomed
PostPosted: Mon Sep 29, 2014 8:40 am  (#3) 
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Thanks, Sallyanne. I appreciate your comments.

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 Post subject: Re: Critique welcomed
PostPosted: Mon Sep 29, 2014 9:30 am  (#4) 
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Good job swb!
Like the colors and textured canvas, maybe give the pink bg a bit warmer tint,
also I'd expect to see some wider color range and more vivid hue for the leaves.


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 Post subject: Re: Critique welcomed
PostPosted: Mon Sep 29, 2014 10:34 am  (#5) 
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The very pastel tones sort of defeat the quote...

I also think that the quote author should be right-aligned. There may be an official typographic rule about this. As it is, it first looks as the continuation of the text. Using a smaller and italic font could alleviate this.

The original quote is "L'automne est un deuxième printemps où chaque feuille est une fleur", so your "when" should be "where".

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 Post subject: Re: Critique welcomed
PostPosted: Mon Sep 29, 2014 12:36 pm  (#6) 
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I agree with the others concerning the colors of autumn. Although I have heard of a softer autumn color palette.
Nonetheless the colors of autumn tend to be more vivid.

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 Post subject: Re: Critique welcomed
PostPosted: Mon Sep 29, 2014 2:48 pm  (#7) 
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Thank you K1TesseraEna, ofnuts and Wallace -- I wasn't completely satisfied but wasn't sure what it was. I'll take another run at the colours and look at making the quote a better translation, too. I appreciate your help.

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 Post subject: Re: Critique welcomed
PostPosted: Mon Sep 29, 2014 3:32 pm  (#8) 
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Welcome to Gimp Chat, swb.

Altogether a satisfying piece. I would be pleased with myself if it had come off my drawing board.

Some particulars. You're thinking that there is an ever so slight sense of emptiness in the lower right region. I concur; but it is ever so slight. K1TesseraEna and others here vote for somewhat stronger colors. I conditionally concur; I would not, however, broadly, generally, uniformly increase the saturation of the leaves or warm the color climate. On the whole I like the pastel just the way it is. Mainly. But I do think the cry for stronger color voiced by people here and this *slight* sense of emptiness are related.

My theory is that the lower right hand corner of the piece, where the color is darkest, and the typographic element together work as framing devices which bracket an implicit rectangle roughly running from the center of the piece to the lower right hand corner. And there is nothing in particular there, for the leaves, on the whole act as a texture, with no one leaf (or anything else) standing out as an element of interest in this implicit rectangle (and this implicit frame). That is where I Think the sense of emptiness is coming from, and the general consesus here is to fill it with color.

My sense is to tell a story. I'd like to put one leaf there that is just ever so slightly more saturated, or perhaps of a slightly warmer color climate, and, on the whole, slightly larger. That leaf is a recent arrival; perhaps just fallen, and so is not quite as far along in the business of fading and shrinking that the other leaves are undergoing, because that is the story of leaves in fall, they descend from the heights in a colorful swirl and come to the ground and are bright for a time and then fade. Now, of course, you're not going to bang people over the head with this idea; it will be a deft touch, carefully done. A new arrival, slightly warmer, slightly younger, slightly more brash than the rest. It is the thing that fills the frame. Then, I think you have your piece.

My two cents.

Garry


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 Post subject: Re: Critique welcomed
PostPosted: Mon Sep 29, 2014 3:45 pm  (#9) 
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If you meant it to look like Autumn, I agree, it should be more vivid with lots of oranges, yellows, some greens and so on.
BUT, I love it the way it is, The textured canvas is very nice and it is well done.
The farther away the leaves are, the lighter or more blurred they should be.
KUDO's
Your upload is just fine.

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 Post subject: Re: Critique welcomed
PostPosted: Mon Sep 29, 2014 4:56 pm  (#10) 
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Thank you, Garry and Molly. I appreciate the feedback. I'll repost after I make some adjustments.

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 Post subject: Re: Critique welcomed
PostPosted: Tue Sep 30, 2014 5:11 am  (#11) 
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I love it. The colours are beautiful!


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 Post subject: Re: Critique welcomed
PostPosted: Tue Sep 30, 2014 7:16 am  (#12) 
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@swb

if you are on the way of reposting the image, please consider what Ofnuts said:
"when" should be "where".

from my side, just considering only the picture, I found it very interesting and as usual -if you went thru the various topics you certainly discovered my "obsession" to derive some variation from an image I like- I post here 3 variations I did, but many many others can be implemented...
Congrats for your image!

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3863_AutumnIsASecondSpring_dn3.jpg [ 165.56 KiB | Viewed 1049 times ]

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 Post subject: Re: Critique welcomed
PostPosted: Fri Oct 03, 2014 8:12 am  (#13) 
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Thank you, Erisian.

And Dinasset, I love the way you edited the colours. A picture is worth a thousand words!

I'm re-reading everyone's suggestions this morning and will then take another run at my piece.

swb

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 Post subject: Re: Critique welcomed
PostPosted: Fri Oct 03, 2014 9:21 am  (#14) 
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Here's my redo. Thanks for all the tips and ideas. :clap

swb

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 Post subject: Re: Critique welcomed
PostPosted: Fri Oct 03, 2014 11:14 am  (#15) 
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swb wrote:
Here's my redo. Thanks for all the tips and ideas. :clap

swb

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That's a wonderful redo, much greater detail this time. :bigthup

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