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 Post subject: Crossing borders - comic (finished)
PostPosted: Sun Apr 19, 2015 6:52 pm  (#1) 
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Page 1: That looks like it hurts.

The first page of a new comic project I'm doing. This is a 12-page short story in full color. It will feature at least one character you might recognize from my gallery. :)

Created mainly in MyPaint, with adjustments and processing in Krita and textures/texts/watermarks done in GIMP.

For this I'm experimenting with black outlines which I usually don't use. No doubt I will find my footing better as we go along. Comments and feedback is highly appreciated!

EDIT: Updated with better shadows and texturing, hopefully better now!
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Last edited by Griatch on Wed May 27, 2015 2:56 pm, edited 13 times in total.

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 Post subject: Re: Crossing borders - comic (page 1/12)
PostPosted: Sun Apr 19, 2015 7:11 pm  (#2) 
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It seem like a good enough start as any. It has me wondering what occurred and also what's about to happen. :bigthup

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 Post subject: Re: Crossing borders - comic (page 1/12)
PostPosted: Sun Apr 19, 2015 10:47 pm  (#3) 
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As always, great lighting and colors...the combination of the two defines the season and setting well. :) Critique-wise, maybe darken the character's shadow in the third image? Only because the light source behind him is so strong. Beyond that, the story looks intriguing; I'd definitely read on.


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 Post subject: Re: Crossing borders - comic (page 1/12)
PostPosted: Tue Apr 21, 2015 12:05 am  (#4) 
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I don't understand the bottom half of the last frame what I'm looking at, is that all water or water and a rock? :S
The character design is nice, keep at how you're doing the lines in the first frame with many thin lines and only thick where it's most important (like a character - though thick lines throughout aren't necessary). Also if you want a background blurred, it works fine if you outline it then blur it.

Story itself I can't say as there is no narration, I assume to help the "audience" make a partial story in their own heads. So Keep it coming I wanna see how this is going to go! >:D xD

Nice work. :3

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 Post subject: Re: Crossing borders - comic (page 1/12)
PostPosted: Wed Apr 22, 2015 4:51 am  (#5) 
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Wallace wrote:
It seem like a good enough start as any. It has me wondering what occurred and also what's about to happen. :bigthup

That's good to hear. :)

Sydney wrote:
As always, great lighting and colors...the combination of the two defines the season and setting well. :) Critique-wise, maybe darken the character's shadow in the third image? Only because the light source behind him is so strong. Beyond that, the story looks intriguing; I'd definitely read on.

Thanks, I was pretty happy with the light. :) I see your point about the shadow by his feet, will change that.

Mokonafan wrote:
I don't understand the bottom half of the last frame what I'm looking at, is that all water or water and a rock? :S
The character design is nice, keep at how you're doing the lines in the first frame with many thin lines and only thick where it's most important (like a character - though thick lines throughout aren't necessary). Also if you want a background blurred, it works fine if you outline it then blur it.

Story itself I can't say as there is no narration, I assume to help the "audience" make a partial story in their own heads. So Keep it coming I wanna see how this is going to go! >:D xD

Nice work. :3

Not sure what to tell you about the bottom panel ... it's a rock and I guess I can't see it as anything other than a rock. Not sure how you see it as anything else, could you elaborate on what is unclear?

As for the black outlines, yes I'm testing thicker outlines for foreground objects to help enhance and bring forth details. I usually don't use visible outlines like (at least not in combination with color) so it's a bit of a learning experience for me. :)
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 Post subject: Re: Crossing borders - comic (page 1/12)
PostPosted: Wed Apr 22, 2015 9:36 am  (#6) 
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Updated the first page as per feedback, with darker shadows and more texturing to that stone. Check it out!
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 Post subject: Re: Crossing borders - comic (page 2/12)
PostPosted: Wed Apr 22, 2015 11:42 am  (#7) 
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Page 2: Crossing the border.

Reworked this comic to use more texture, giving it a little more visual kick I think.

Update: Made some movement lines and change the arm in one place.
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Last edited by Griatch on Wed Apr 22, 2015 12:45 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject: Re: Crossing borders - comic (page 1/12)
PostPosted: Wed Apr 22, 2015 11:46 am  (#8) 
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The rock has eyes! I don't have much else to say because this is already so much better than anything I can draw/paint. The way he fell on the 'rock' in the last frame looks goofy, can't really explain it but it looks like he's just going to slide forward off the 'rock'

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 Post subject: Re: Crossing borders - comic (page 1/12)
PostPosted: Wed Apr 22, 2015 12:31 pm  (#9) 
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David Wood wrote:
The rock has eyes! I don't have much else to say because this is already so much better than anything I can draw/paint. The way he fell on the 'rock' in the last frame looks goofy, can't really explain it but it looks like he's just going to slide forward off the 'rock'

Thanks for the comment! Yep, it has eyes.

Indeed you are correct - he's about to slouch forward off the rock. This is exactly what I wanted it to look like. He is unconcious you see, just lying limp over it. I hope noone would normally crash against a rock with arms dangling like that otherwise. I'll look at it again though, see if there is something to fix there, thanks. :)
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 Post subject: Re: Crossing borders - comic (page 2)
PostPosted: Wed Apr 22, 2015 12:46 pm  (#10) 
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@David Wood

I added some movement lines to clarify the action and also changed the arm quite a bit in the last frame, hope it looks better now!
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 Post subject: Re: Crossing borders - comic (page 2)
PostPosted: Wed Apr 22, 2015 3:39 pm  (#11) 
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Much better, now it looks like he's leaning on the rock and not in front of it.

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 Post subject: Re: Crossing borders - comic (page 2)
PostPosted: Thu Apr 23, 2015 1:08 pm  (#12) 
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Glad to hear it!
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 Post subject: Re: Crossing borders - comic (page 2)
PostPosted: Thu Apr 23, 2015 7:52 pm  (#13) 
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Rock sure looks surprised, and then concerned. It is hard to convey so much with only eyes, but you have don't it.


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 Post subject: Re: Crossing borders - comic (page 3)
PostPosted: Sat Apr 25, 2015 4:18 am  (#14) 
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Page 3: Meetings by water. You can find this character elsewhere in my gallery if you look around. :)

2-ton wrote:
Rock sure looks surprised, and then concerned. It is hard to convey so much with only eyes, but you have don't it.

Yep, eyes and especially eyebrows can be quite enough to relay emotions - luckily us humans are very good at determining such things at a glance too.
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Last edited by Griatch on Thu Apr 30, 2015 8:26 am, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject: Re: Crossing borders - comic (3 pages)
PostPosted: Sat Apr 25, 2015 9:31 am  (#15) 
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I just had an anime watching moment...You know it's all well and good then it's like what in the world....O I C! O_o"....Things just got interesting!

Judging from other images of her in my memory I think the fingers are a bit stringy but since it it a comic maybe you want to exaggerate some physical features.

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 Post subject: Re: Crossing borders - comic (3 pages)
PostPosted: Sun Apr 26, 2015 2:42 pm  (#16) 
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@moko

Heh, yes it's a bit of an unexpected turn I guess. :)

I'm a bit back and forth on the fingers. I wanted her to have long fingers, but then again I might have overdone it a bit. I think I'll need to think about it a bit and then see if they should be changed. Thanks for the feedback!
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 Post subject: Re: Crossing borders - comic (3 pages)
PostPosted: Mon Apr 27, 2015 4:29 pm  (#17) 
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That looks awesome! But her fingernails are scaring me, so freakishly long. :P

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 Post subject: Re: Crossing borders - comic (4 pages)
PostPosted: Wed Apr 29, 2015 4:50 pm  (#18) 
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Page 4: What the heck do we have here?

A sort of middle-page establishing the scene and also the relative size of the troll and the man. :)

David Wood wrote:
That looks awesome! But her fingernails are scaring me, so freakishly long. :P

Aye, they are quite long indeed! Might shorten them a bit actually. But at least she's a fashionable troll that keeps them nicely painted red.
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Last edited by Griatch on Sat May 02, 2015 3:08 am, edited 5 times in total.

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 Post subject: Re: Crossing borders - comic (4 pages)
PostPosted: Wed Apr 29, 2015 6:17 pm  (#19) 
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Wow, that's a lot of woman right there. :lol - She's so tall. :hehe
The shoulders seem a little narrow for the long neck and rather small head, and the arms look a little flat how they attach and seeing how longgggggg her legs seem to be her arms seem a bit short too....to me anyway. xD
I really like the coloring of the helmet though and I like her dress. :D
Nice work.

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 Post subject: Re: Crossing borders - comic (4 pages)
PostPosted: Thu Apr 30, 2015 8:30 am  (#20) 
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@Moko

After your feedback, I changed the anatomy of her hand (on page 3) around a little, to give it a little more meat and slightly shorter claws. :)

Excellent feedback on page 4, I think I agree with most of it - it's useful to have a second opinion on these things! So I have changed the size of her head and moved it down a bit (to make the apparent neck shorter), broadened her shoulder and shrunk her left leg. She is still "a lot of woman", but not quite as much as she was, now. ;) Take a look!
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