nobby nobbs is a would-be new member on gimp chat, unfortunately he didn't know how to make a post here, so he just left it unposted and open on the public library computer where i found it. as a helpful member of the human race i post it here for him:
"hi everyone! my name is nobby nobbs, and i'm new to this forum and to gimp and to internet and computer stuff in general. i have seen lots of cool stuff that people have done in gimp, like painting the mona lisa and pasting themselves into rembrandt's "the nightwatch" so it actually looks like they were in the picture, and making text that looks just like rusted metal with screws and bolts in and all, so now i want to make something like that. the problem is, i don't know how gimp works? can you tell me how gimp works? what are all those menus for? where do i paint things? i'd also appreciate it very much if you told me how i:

paint mona lisa in gimp so it looks like mona lisa

get myself from my photo and into the "nightwatch", so it really looks like i'm in the picture

make text that looks exactly like rusted metal, with screws and bolts and all. there seems to be no button for this?

i don't really have time to be on this forum much, so please reply to my email, it's nobby@nobbs.com"

Hi AnMal, I sent an email to this person to give him the link to Gimp chat if he was interested in joining and he would get all kinds of help from our members, but it came back as it couldn't be delivered.

This is an automatically generated Delivery Status Notification.

Delivery to the following recipients failed.

nobby@nobbs.com

molly: oh dear, i'v done it again! sorry, i've completely wasted your time with that one! i thought it was obvious from miles off that this post was just a joke. nobby nobbs is a character in the discworld series and he's a rather hopeless character, so i thought that was a rather fitting name for the most hopelessly annoying newbie this forum could ever have had - that is, if he had known enough about "internet and cumputer stuff" to actually manage to join .

Must be a common name where you live AnMal, but I've never heard of Nobby Nobbs. lol

You know what the it means to assume (donkey out of you and me). lol

AnMal - get nobby nobbs some bubblewrap.

lylejk: i'm so thick erisian had to explain that one to me - so i guess i've learned my lesson
erisian: well, i'm not sure that will completely cure nobby's sudden hunger for making breathtaking computer graphics by pressing a button, but it might keep him busy for the next ten years or so - at least if he's as easily distracted as you and me and we give him enough bubble wrap...

Lol fascinating topic right here.