This is what happens EVERY TIME. I have followed all the instructions, downloaded the correct format. Help?!

When I open GIMP, none of the filters are available.

Hello,
Which version of Windows are you using (7,8, 32/64bits ?) and which version of G'MIC did you download (the 32/64bits installer or the 64bits-only zip file) ?
This could help.
I know that there have been a lot of issues for Win64 users, because some times, the .dll are duplicated, sometimes they are missing.
I wish we could have a simple-to-install Win64 version

Thank you! I'm using 64 but bit the 32 bit G'MIC that I installed said it would work on 64 bit.

Yes, it should work indeed. That's very annoying.
I don't have any windows machine to test on. Maybe other gimpchaters have already encountered this issue or have an idea about what is going on ?

Well that looks really weird, seems odd that it would even be linked to that dll never mind a wrong version of it... perhaps I can test, back in a bit

Gimp 2.8.10 x64 "official" with gmic 1.5.9.0 from sourceforge:
gmic_gimp_win32.exe - OK
gmic_gimp_win32.zip - OK
and also an unofficial 1.5.9.0 x64 beta - OK

Which makes me wonder ohtara, which version of gimp you have (and I assume you are just using the same sourceforge G'MIC I am).

One thing I did notice is it's linked to zlib1.dll which isn't included (but that shouldn't end up linking to the dll in the error message anyway), so still not sure what's going on.