NEW!!-#12 Pessimistic Optimist - My Poetry/Drawing Challenge

Mokonafan · **Posted:** Tue Mar 29, 2016 2:46 pm **(#1)**

Introduction/Reason For Thread:

If anyone sees I haven't posted in here feel free to be like...Yooo Mokooooooooo Wherez da poemz??? Lol
Oh, and my grammar is terrible and I know it, if my grammar is terrible in the poem excerpts feel free to correct it. Yes you grammar fiends, you are allowed to eat me! :rofl

Here's hoping I can do this.

Lets do dis journey!

~ God Bless ~

~ Moko

Poem Index:
#1 Heart and Key
#2 The Musings Of a Music Box Doll
#3 Arrogant Eyes
#4 Mourning Monastery
#5 Coloring Outside The Lines
#6 Mask
#7 Blue Winds
#8 The Heart of Freedom
#9 The Box and the Tree
#10 Forgotten Teddy Bear
#11 The Joke
#12 Pessimistic Optimist

Wallace · **Posted:** Tue Mar 29, 2016 4:08 pm **(#2)**

Good luck with this project Mokonafan.
:bigthup

As far as moving this thread goes.
I think it's just fine right where it is.

oldmangrumpy · **Posted:** Tue Mar 29, 2016 4:26 pm **(#3)**

Moko - happy to help; I have also written quite a bit of poetry and I know what it is like not to be incentivated. A friend and I joined a local group so that we had to have something ready to read each meeting or suffer embarassment

Good luck with this journey and make it a success story or watch out for those 'embarassing posts' :oops:

Pat625 · **Joined:** May 12, 2015 **Posts:** 4693

Good Luck, Moki! Just remember you are talented, You can do it!

Erisian · **Posted:** Wed Mar 30, 2016 3:27 am **(#5)**

Looking forward to it Moko!

Artloader · **Posted:** Wed Mar 30, 2016 6:50 am **(#6)**

Sounds like a fantastic project Moko

- I'm looking forward to seeing what you produce - all the best my friend

.

sallyanne · **Posted:** Wed Mar 30, 2016 8:18 am **(#7)**

Best of luck with the project Moko. You have done well with others in the past, you will do it.
If you need more help, people in one of these groups may be able to do that and keep you accountable too
http://www.deviantart.com/browse/all/li ... 9&q=groups

Mokonafan · **Posted:** Wed Mar 30, 2016 5:39 pm **(#8)**

Thank you for all the kind comments!
I started jotting down a couple ideas and I already have 3 poems/work in progresses. I probably won't keep that speed up, but at least I'll have stuff to post if something happens or I get lazy. :roll:

The artwork I started on for my first one, I hated every moment of coloring it, and I do not like the result. But I love the idea so I'll probably do a pen image and call it the day. xD

Just a warning to people, I often write sadder or more depressing topics. But my artwork is bright and happy most of the time (like you know already) But if you see some sad things, don't freak out! :lol

I do also have somewhat happier topics, but not all the time. So if I sound like an emotional basket-case I bring out the artist card. We're supposed to be weird and eccentric!!! :mrgreen:

I'm trying to figure out how to do excerpts, which parts I'd post since the whole poem is a train of though....I'll probably explain the context so it makes more sense.

I should have a full thing done by tomorrow, if not it officially starts April 1st so I'm allowed to take my time to start.

Mokonafan · **Posted:** Thu Mar 31, 2016 8:47 pm **(#9)**

Okay, Here is ..hmm what should I call it? Day one? Project one? Not sure!... I'll work on that, for now lets just say Day 1...So technically this starts tomorrow but it's April for everyone not in the US so it counts! :evilgrin

Okay so, this first one is called Heart And Key, the basic context is based off of a girl (but I suppose a guy can relate) who waits for her I suppose you can say love interest but it feels like it's not going anywhere. In the end she just gives up waiting and goes on with her life, and the last verse states that she understand that he's dealing with conflict and instead of waiting for him to save her, she wants to be that for him...If that sounds ridicules I'm sorry! :hoh

There are 6 verses, I'll post 1, 3, 6; And the artwork...I didn't care for the colored one all that much so I made a more...idk...abstract? version of it. Neither one are my favorite but it's only fair for people to see me fail and not just succeed. xD

Stuck in the darkness,
Feeling alone,
Falling, swirling, like a whirlpool down a cone.
My heart holds the lock,
And you have the key,
But only God knows what's deep inside of me.
...
I'm in love,
I'm in turmoil,
I feel wrapped up in foil.
My heart is the lock,
And you are the key,
But only God can unify and set us free.
...

I will love you,
I always do,
If you come back I'll expect more from you.
Now your heart will be the lock,
And I'll be the key,
This time, allow us to set you free.

K that's it for day one, I have an idea for day two...Maybe Ill call these episodes. Make it sound so mainstream! :lol

K enjoy, and God bless!

oldmangrumpy · **Posted:** Fri Apr 01, 2016 5:56 pm **(#10)**

Moko -you are off and running so well done with your first post. For what its worth I prefer the 'more abstract' version of the artwork.

By the way there is no such thing as failure in poetry or art, just varying degrees of success

Artloader · **Posted:** Fri Apr 01, 2016 6:00 pm **(#11)**

Evocative stuff Moko - I like it. I'm with OMG on the more abstract picture. Nice work though - well done

.

lylejk · **Joined:** Sep 24, 2010 **Posts:** 12841

Great talent you have both forms of art, Moko.

Wallace · **Posted:** Fri Apr 01, 2016 6:30 pm **(#13)**

Mokonafan wrote:

[ Image ] [ Image ]

Stuck in the darkness,
Feeling alone,
Falling, swirling, like a whirlpool down a cone.
My heart holds the lock,
And you have the key,
But only God knows what's deep inside of me.
...
I'm in love,
I'm in turmoil,
I feel wrapped up in foil.
My heart is the lock,
And you are the key,
But only God can unify and set us free.
...

I will love you,
I always do,
If you come back I'll expect more from you.
Now your heart will be the lock,
And I'll be the key,
This time, allow us to set you free.

Issabella · **Posted:** Sat Apr 02, 2016 10:25 am **(#14)**

I like it a lot Moko. You have a great potential in you, and I'm sure you will go far with your talent. Success will come to you at any time. :clap

Kitsune · **Joined:** Jan 11, 2016 **Posts:** 17

Mokonafan

look for some writer forums
find the ones who writes children's books
let them see your work
your animals are kawai

Mokonafan · **Posted:** Tue Apr 05, 2016 2:48 am **(#16)**

I've got an idea for the next one, still trying to work it out though. And I'm attempting to start up my game creation again so yeah. Since ain't nobody hiring me I mine as well get busy doing SOMETHING. xD

oldmangrumpy wrote:

Moko -you are off and running so well done with your first post. For what its worth I prefer the 'more abstract' version of the artwork.

By the way there is no such thing as failure in poetry or art, just varying degrees of success

I like the more abstract one too, the other one..to me just looks like a mess. :lol

Artloader wrote:

Evocative stuff Moko - I like it. I'm with OMG on the more abstract picture. Nice work though - well done

.

lylejk wrote:

Great talent you have both forms of art, Moko.

Thanks!

Wallace wrote:

Mokonafan wrote:

:jumpclap

Issabella wrote:

I like it a lot Moko. You have a great potential in you, and I'm sure you will go far with your talent. Success will come to you at any time. :clap

Thank you!

Poems get to the point, perfect for my short attention span. XD

Kitsune wrote:

Mokonafan

look for some writer forums
find the ones who writes children's books
let them see your work
your animals are kawai

Mokonafan · **Posted:** Fri Apr 08, 2016 1:23 am **(#17)**

Hi! Here's a new one. This one is called 'The Musings Of a Music Box Doll'.

The basis of this one is about a painted doll like the dolls on those music boxes where you turn the key type thing and it plays a song while the doll spins or dances. - The doll though she looks happy, she's sad because she's thought of nothing but just entertainment or just a pretty toy to play with but not truly loved.

Kinda sad actually, but I guess the message I want to send is just because somebody seems to have a purpose and is happy that doesn't mean they're truly are happy or are following who they truly are. They're just doing what's expected of them.

There are 9 Verses I'm going to put in the Excerpt 3, 4, 8, and 9.

The picture if kinda self explanatory, it's the dolls with a few flowers and little butterflies. I primarily used watercolors for everything plus a little bit of crayola marker and colored pencils, I also used a few metallic markers for the metal parts.

...
I'm a music box doll,
Watch me round and round,
I'm a pretty girl, and I'm quite small.
I'm here to entertain you, my dance is to leap and bound,
Turn the wined up key, and listen to the music ting-a-ling in a quite nice sound.
...
Though I have a painted smile, I really am quite sad,
I know I look happy, and it's really not all that bad,
But some days I wish I could do more than simply dance and spin around,
Even a new song to play, I long for a new sound.
...
One day I'll leap off my box and cause everyone to gasp,
Then they'll see who's truly me, and finally they'll grasp,
I'm more than the painted doll who does as they please,
I have a heart and that will be the day I am free.
...
I'm a music box doll,
But no longer on the music box over there,
I'm a surprise to many and to some even a scare,
I'm more than I was thought of, and this I must also confess,
Feels quite wonderful, that people see me more than a beautiful doll in a dress.

I hope this isn't too silly sounding...I HOPE to have another one before the week is out. This week has been stupid for me so yeah...Enjoy!

sallyanne · **Posted:** Fri Apr 08, 2016 8:21 am **(#18)**

You have really captured it! Sounds exactly how a doll stuck in one place might feel

Thanks for sharing

Mokonafan · **Posted:** Fri Apr 08, 2016 9:25 pm **(#19)**

K I have a poem written up I just need to come up with a good artwork to fit the context of the picture.

sallyanne wrote:

You have really captured it! Sounds exactly how a doll stuck in one place might feel

Thanks for sharing

Yayy!

Thank you. :3 :tyspin

oldmangrumpy · **Posted:** Fri Apr 08, 2016 11:58 pm **(#20)**

Mokonafan - brilliant take on the subject and I love the image that accompanies your words; well done and keep them coming.

She deserves a response in my mind ...

I see her spinning round from time to time
with arms spread wide and her painted smile
but she does not notice me or my mood sublime
for I stand static on a shelf on high, a figurine in exile
from her musical, dancing world, yet I can sense her sorrow
but sadly nothing changes and all will be the same tomorrow.